A reader recently commented that she can’t figure out how many children I have.
Neither can I.
In fact, I frequently feel like we are missing one. I know I have four birth children, but …
After I married, I had the daily care of my husband’s two sons, ages four and seven. They taught me Parenting 101.
Parenting 201 came when my first son was born. Parenting 301 accompanied my Old Mother Hubbard instinct. I wanted to adopt and older child. We thought about that while two foster sons bunked with us one school year.
I remember is as a busy, but fun year. With five boys ages 10, 10, 9, 7 and 1, I had a my very one live-in Cub Scout troop.
I had lists of things to do after school every day: practice the multiplication facts, wash dishes, clean house, rake the yard. I had lists of things to do when they were gone: sew, wash dishes, make cookies, cakes, pies and bread. My husband kept us busy visiting the local museums and parks. Then in the middle of the school year the boys club decided they wanted to earn money by delivering papers.
Newspapers landing with a whomp on the porch every afternoon woke me from my nap. Before the paper boys got home, I rolled and stuffed the papers into three shoulder bags for the older boys.
That spring, my second son was born. we celebrated by visiting a small museum with my two stepsons, two foster sons and two birth sons. An elderly gentleman came up to where I stood holding my blanketed bundle. Pointing at each boy he silently mouthed, “1, 2, 3, 4, 5,” raised his eyebrows and looked at the bundle. I smiled, “It’s a boy.” He tsked, shook his head sorrowfully and walked away.
I was insulted. That guy did not know how much fun half-a-dozen boys could be.
At the end of the school year the foster boys went back to live with their mother. My two stepsons, two birth sons, one paper route and fun stayed.
We were having so much fun, a couple years later, we added another boy. We decided to add more room to the house. My husband began digging out a slightly larger-than-a crawled space, Michigan-styled cellar converting it into a basement recreational room.
Remodeling by adding another under the house as not always fun,
When the fifth and youngest son was two, we went to a family reunion. It looked like the infant sectionof a department store. All my brothers, sisters and cousins had babies that year. I was the only holdout. They wanted to know ‘why? I told them we would have more children when our yard of dirt had been covered with grass and a new sidewalk.
The yard was covered with lush green grass and the window boxes were in bloom when I began Parenting 401. Our daughter was the crowning touch on our return to sane, civilized living after years of remodeling. She’s fun, too.
We have not added any children since then. In fact they keep growing up and subtracting themselves. Only my daughter and third son are still at home.
When someone asks, “what is the ideal family size?” I say it is about one more than I have right now. That way I always have room for one more.