marriage is best revenge

“I will get even with you. Somehow. Somewhere. When you least expect it, I will get even with you,” Daisy Mae promised Bubba.
Bubba had phoned her teenagers while she was out sparking with Freddy and plotted to have them call her at Freddy’s to say “Momma, it’s 9 o’clock. It’s time to come home.”
After seeing the earrings, Freddy had picked out for her, Bubba knew things were mighty serious and decided to do something about it.
HE went to the pastor and said, tongue in cheek, “Don’t you think that in a Christian atmosphere that should be chaperoned at all times?”
“Well Brother Bubba, God is always watching. He’ll be their chaperone.”
Others watched knowingly and waited for an announcement of the obvious. But the course of true love is never smooth.
Overnight the romance soured. They began coming to church in separate vehicles.
They sat on opposite sides, refusing to even look at each other.
Bubba knew it was all over the day Daisy Mae met him at the church door, “Give these to Freddy,” she said angrily, thrusting the earrings to him. “Tell him I don’t want them anymore.”
Bubba stuttered, “Can’t I just stick them in his truck?”
“No! Make sure he gets them and my message.”
Bubba miserably thrust the tiny box at Freddy and walked away without looking at him, wondering what had happened between the two.
Bubba’s mother-in-law didn’t wonder she knew Freddy had done something, “It’s always the man.”
The day of the church picnic, Daisy Mae handed an envelope to Bubba. “Here read this out loud.” Puzzled Bubba took a blue-edged certificate and read Daisy Mae’s and Freddy’s marriage license dated the weekend they quit sparking.
“I thought you two had broken up,” he mumbled.
“That’s what we wanted you to think,” Daisy Mae said. “I warned you that I was going to get even with you.”
“When Freddy asked me to marry him, I didn’t want to plan and wait for months to be married. I said, ‘Yes and let’s do it this weekend on the way to visit your family up north.”
“But I also wanted o get even with you, Bubba. We didn’t want you to know we had married. We bought that license in another county to keep it out of the local newspaper.
“After we had the license, we asked if there was anyone who would marry us. The clerks pointed out the judge, but I wanted a reverend.”
“The clerks suggested the Baptist preacher across the street.”
He came, We said our ‘I do’s’ signed the license, and were off on our honeymoon including a short visit to announce our marriage to his relative before we came home.”
When Daisy Mae and Freddy got home, they told her children and asked them to wait to ell their friends. They wanted to convince Bubba they had broken up.
The names had been changed to protect the innocent, but it all happened as I have written it.
I understand Bubba is still scratching his head trying to figure out what happened.