Kicking the maternal habit

I try to quit, but this 25-year habit of mothering is hard to break. Take this summer. My youngest is now 15. Everyone else is out of the home and does not need to be told to get up, go to work and be responsible. All of them have learned to take care of themselves.
But can I stop reminding them?
No. Not me.
Not with my two college students. they both made it through a whole year of dorm living, washed their own clothes and got to class and work on time. They studied and did their assignments well enough to make the dean’s list this past semester. All without my help or prodding. But as soon as they walk in that front door, I shift into my mother hen mode.
I really try to hold my tongue and not tell them to get up, get going and be at work on time.
Sometimes I actually succeed.
Like last week. My son with the oddest hours for work was off visiting friends. He was having a grand time for a few hours before knuckling down and being a responsible adult.
He had a couple hours’ drive o get home for work that night. I knew he needed to stop by the house to pick up a couple of things before work. My overly anxious, maternal instincts began wondering where he was five hours before he needed to be at work. It takes him less than 15 minutes to drive to work.
My adult, non-maternal, logic kept tell me, “As long as he is home half-an-hour before work, he will have plenty of time.
Once, twice, three times, my hands started to pick up the phone and dial where he was having fun to say, “Look you need to start home by at least 4:30 to make it to work by seven.”
I didn’t do it. Didn’t even tough the phone. But I sure did think about it a lot.
He walked in about 4:30. He had come back early enough to take care of some business at the bank. He tossed his dirty clothes in the hamper, cleared out the refrigerator, chatted for a while and left for work with time to spare.
When he had a 7 a.m. shift, he opted the night before, to watch videos and stay with a friend who is going away for several weeks. I was up at 5:30 watching the clock and slapping my hand back from picking up the phone to call and make sure he was awake. He came in at 6. He had actually slept most of he night and let early enough to gas up the car.
Who needs reminding to take care of things anyway? Both the car his dad drives and the I drive register empty.
OK so even with irregular hours, he can get to work on time and take care of his life. I can quit worrying about him.
But there is always my other son who is off to college for a summer session. Heavy things those summer classes. Class every day, intense intellectual stimulation at the nightly bull sessions and weekend expeditions to explore the big city of Chicago.
When I couldn’t reach him by phone after 10:30 one night, I sent him e-mail asking if he was getting enough sleep.
He e-mailed back his sleeping schedule.
He’s sleeping more than I am. I gotta learn to let go.
And I will, as soon as I wake up my 15-year-old.