Teen wants to drop out of school

Our teenager disagreed with everything we said. Declared we were too strict and wanted more independence than we were ready to give. Inevitably, we clashed. Late into that night we talked, reasoned and argued. Nothing made any difference.
Finally, we simply declared a truce: My husband had to be at work very early and he had school.
Back in the privacy of our bedroom, my husband said, “He is going to get up tomorrow and want to drop out of school What are we going to do?”
Shocked at the unthinkable having been spoken, all I could envision was having a teenager with an attitude at home, every day, all day long. A teenager who already resisted after-school chores and errands, even those related to a small after-school job.
The resentment rose in me at the thought of dealing with that attitude every day, all day long, except when he was at work.
We finally decided: if he was determined to drop out, he would have to pay for his share of the household expenses.
We mentally reviewed the monthly household expenses that everyone used: electricity, water, basic phone, food and house payments. We totaled them up, averaged out the cost per day per person and fell into an uneasy sleep.
Next morning, the youngest got up, ate breakfast and dressed. The elementary children crawled out of bed, dressed for school and packed book bags. The teenager huddled in his bed. I went to his room and reminded him, “The bus leaves in 15 minutes.”
“I don’t feel good,” he whined from the security of his blankets.
“Probably not, after having stayed up that late. But your dad had less sleep than you and he was at work an hour ago.” I walked out.
He meandered into the living room and looked at me carefully, “What if I don’t go to school?”
My husband’s late-night premonition had prepared me for the question of the day. I was not shocked. I was fuming. However, I calmly said, “your dad and I talked about that last night. We decided that if you did not go to school, you would have to pay room and board.” I assured that his small job could not cover the cost – I mentally doubled our late-night estimate and told him the inflated price.
He looked at the floor thoughtfully, “What if I don’t have that much money?”
“I guess you will just have to go out and get a job to earn the money.”
We stared at each other for a while. He stood up and went to his bedroom silently. I took a deep breath to calm my shaking hands and waited to see what would happen. Five or 10 minutes later, he was back, completely dressed, books in hand.
We never heard another word about dropping out. He concentrated on the classes he liked, chose to tolerate the ones he didn’t and eventually graduated. When I told a friend about our crisis, she said, “I would not have given him the option. My son wanted out, found a job and dropped out.”
Life with teens is like that – very unpredictable.


Posted

in

by

Tags: