Old enough to know

I used to hear. “You’re the mother of those children! Are you kidding me? You can’t have children old enough to be in college!” Suddenly I am old enough to not only have children, but know something about family life.
First it was my daughter. She babysat three children for a few weeks this summer. I expected her to earn money for clothes. I expected the three children ages 2, 4 and 7 to eradicate her boredom. I did not expect her glimpse of parenting to generate so many questions about children and their growing-learning processes.
After she told me the cute kid stories of the day, she grilled me, “What kind of entertainment would be right for these children? When do children begin potty training? How old are they when they learn to count? How do you teach a child to tie his shoes?”
After 25 years of parenting, I knew something that a confident 16-year-old did not know. I was a valuable source of information. It was a heady experience. I may not enjoy that position with her again for years.
At the end of her babysitting, we drove to New Orleans to visit my son, his wife and especially their five-month-old baby. The child reaches out to meet life with both hand open. I tickled her tummy and was rewarded with a belly laugh.
After the little one’s afternoon nap, her mom brought her into the living room. The baby tickled my pride when she recognized me, grinned and reached for me.
While I played with the little charmer, her mamma and I talked about the changes in a marriage after the advent of children. Plus, asked for or not, I shared my insights and experiences with four babies and two that came with the marriage sons. Like a good mother-in-law/grandma, I pushed and prodded her to train the newest Hershberger my way. As we came home, I shrugged when I realized “I won’t know if she wants, let alone heeds, any of my unasked for advice. We live too far away and can only make short, brief visits, months apart.”
She negated my skeptical expectation a couple days later with an e-mail telling me how she had cautiously tried out my idea for a little while.
Wow! I do have influence around here after all.
An older woman at church has influence, too. The women’s steering committee at church organized a four-month trial run of Heart to Heart, a ministry based on the concept of Titus 2:4 “Let the older women teach the younger.” I asked to be matched to a lady with a family of four grown and married sons. This summer we have shared thoughts abut children, grandchildren and aging parents. She may be a few years ahead of me with experiences and insight, but we have a lot in common. During our New Orleans visit, I caught myself sharing bits and pieces of my Heart to Heart partner’s insight with my daughter-in-love. Experience is a great teacher, especially when it is someone else’s.