Cheap reading in medical clinics

Many people go to the dentist and doctor’s offices for medical reasons. I go to read the magazines I am too cheap to buy. With a twice yearly visit to the dentist’s office, a yearly physical, a stop or two at the hospital lab and a couple other professional visits I fill my quota of short stories and tips on raising children and losing weight. Plus, I enjoy a few minutes of relaxation in a living room setting with no dirty dishes on the end tables or dust sifting down from the ceiling fan.
So it was with anticipation last week that I decided I had time to go for all the visits I had put off during our spring rush to three graduations. With my calendar free at last of perpetual activity, I figured I could begin to fill my calendar with medical appointments.
On Tuesday I wrote down a list of phone numbers I needed to call. It usually takes me about two weeks before I can make an appointment to see the dentist: a month to six weeks for a physical and maybe a week to 10 days for a consultation. So I estimated it would be mid-July before I would go to my last appointment.
Tuesday I picked up the phone and began calling. When I hung up a half hour later, I had appointments Friday morning, Monday afternoon and Tuesday afternoon. So much for leisurely stringing the visits out over the summer. They all had openings now.
Friday morning I walked past the stack of magazines on the coffee table, promising myself a look as soon as I took care of the insurance. I was met at the desk, greeted and escorted to the office. So much for an early morning magazine read.
Monday, I left work early saying I would not return: I had to spend the rest of the day either in the waiting room or exam room.
At the office, I signed my name on the ledger, found a comfortable couch and had a whole 5 or 10 minutes of reading before the nurse escorted me back to the examination room. Within half an hour of the time I walked in, I was back on the street minus the doctor’s fee, holding a form to get blood work done.
I still had lots of afternoon left, so I drove by the medical lab to see if I could read their magazines before having my blood drawn.
They didn’t have time to wait for me to read magazines. They showed me to a blood letting room, pricked a hole in my arm and filled a test tube. I gave up on having the rest of the afternoon off and went back to work like a responsible, healthy citizen.
Tuesday I planned on taking a long, late lunch break to peruse the very up-to-date magazines at my dentist’s office.
I never had a chance to sit and read. The assistant escorted me from the door to the examination chair. The doctor poked, scraped and pronounced me cavity free for now. His assistant polished my teeth and I was back on the street with a half hour left of my lunch hour.
If this week’s rate of medical efficiency continues, I will just have to buy my own magazines to read.


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