keeping up with kids

It is spring, the season of transition and my family is in tune with the season. Two are engaged, one moved back home and began paying rent for the privilege of living at home. (I startled him when I announced that returning to the nest would cost him a few worms, said he’s have to clean his own feathers and help keep the nest in order.) The other half of the children are married and raising eight girls who range from toddler to teen and one little boy.
With six children living in five states it is not easy to always feel connected. We try to visit, but my husband’s endurance for long distant traveling has always far exceeded mine. In fact over spring break he was in transit showing off our only daughter and her fiancee to family members in the North and checking out several tourist sites. They will cover as many miles and states as possible in a six day period. I elected to skip that trip.
However, last month my husband and I had time for a more leisurely visit with our St. Louis son and his fiancee.
It turned out to be a rather pleasant visit. We had a leisurely breakfast before meeting the prospective future Hershberger at the St. Louis Art Museum for the opening of a special exhibit of her favorite artist – Van Gogh. As we waited for the guest of honor to appear, we roamed the halls lined with sculptures and oil paintings. When she arrived we joined the queue of people accepting head phones and entered the brightly colored hall with canvasses slathered, dotted or stroked with oil paint.
Sunday mornings we joined the two at their church, ate way too much at a restaurant buffet that satisfied our varied ethnic tastes of the day, studies different ideas for furnishing a home and shopped at a discount store. The best part of the whole weekend came that evening when we sat down around a table with the prospective family member. She read selected questions from “What if …” books on various topics.
At first our answers were quick and to the point. As we relaxed the conversational triggers provided an easy means to become better acquainted without stiffly grilling each other with reporter questions: “What do you do?” and “what are your plans?” It was much like the Ungame of the ’70s.
Other than that it was an odd weekend reminding me again how often we are on the road. We left every department store and discount shop with a heap of items. Nothing outstanding, just stuff we had not purchased at home because we are always packing suitcases instead of packing shopping carts.
Both my husband and I spent a lot of time and money catching up that weekend. At home again we looked at each other and said, “What hit us, anyway?” We determined not to do that again.
Another thing I determined, after all this traveling to visit the kids is this: If we ever have another set of children, I will insist that they can not live anywhere except right next door, down the street or around the corner. That way I will not always be in transition between the states and I could shop where my checks are accepted.