Can not alter the genetic code

As a parent I quickly realized that my children were born self-centered, selfish and stubborn. Without the intervention of their dad, mom, teachers and relatives they would have been quite content to remain that way. One of them at 5 bluntly told the town librarian, “I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it.”
Each was born with an innate tendency to be mean. I was especially concerned when I read a study about the ‘violence gene’ found in the prison population. The researchers originally theorized the gene was the reason the prisoners were in jail – until they found the gene in people not behind bars. These people who did not act out their genetic code. The difference may have had something to do with cultural pressure and their own decision to conform.
It is amazing how civilized my violent children have become as adults. They do not beat up on each other anymore and haven’t had a temper tantrum in years. But that’s because I did not patiently, compassionately accept everything they did.
I had it easy. Parents of one of my son’s friends is blind. His parents had to teach him to live independently in the seeing world. He was sent to a school where he learned to fix his own meals, wash his own clothes and use his auditory and olfactory senses to guide himself through a city. He now attend an Ivy League college on the east coast as a graduate student in cultural studies.
I have friends who grew up in homes with a long history of alcoholism. I don’t know if that is an environmental or genetic inheritance, but they rejected the lifestyle to which they were born. They chose to break away from their family history of alcoholism. Other friends who were practicing alcoholics decided to quit and change their lifestyle. One found help through a local AA, the other found God. Both chose to reject a life style which threatened their career, their families and their health. Society applauds them for choosing to resist the overwhelming urge to drink alcohol. They stay sober one day at a time.
Every day, every person has a choice of what thoughts he will dwell on, how he chooses to react to his circumstances and how he will explain his choices. We all applaud those who successfully work through the difficult process of changing themselves.
No, I take that back.
There was not universal applause last month at the new that a few highly motivated homosexuals had changed their sexual orientation. That was the announcement of a study by Columbia University psychiatry professor Dr. Robert L. Spitzer, who 30 years ago successfully advocated for the removal of homosexuality from the list of mental illnesses. His announcement this spring was not welcomed. Choosing to leave the homosexual lifestyle runs contrary to the change of the past several years. “We have been this way since birth. To try to change could be emotionally detrimental.”
Personally, I just roll my eyes in disbelief anytime I hear anyone use that excuse for whatever reason. “I can’t change how I act. I was born this way.” Puh-leeze, give me a break! I am a mother and a grandmother. I know differently.