combining Christmas traditions

Holidays used to be so easy. On Christmas eve, go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, fight over whose turn it was to pass out the gifts: The girls or the boys. Rip open a few gifts without looking at what everyone else received – because we all got the same thing. Dolls for the girls, games and guns for the boys and flannel shirts for the men.
Everyone received a hat or pair of mittens knitted by Grandma.
Then about 9 p.m. we would shiver our way home and into bed, wake mom and dad in the wee hours of Christmas, eat breakfast and open presents before the same cousins we saw the night before came over to compare “at-home” gifts. Later in the day we would visit our other grandmother for a dinner of canned ham, instant potatoes and canned peaches. I watched the Christmas specials while mom talked with Grandma.
It was a cut and dry formula … until we each married and became part of another whole family that needed to be visited on Christmas day. I complicated it even more by marrying a guy with a couple sons with yet another family of mom, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that needed to be howdied on Christmas day or Christmas eve.
It might have been almost manageable if only we had all lived in the same state within a few miles of each other. But, of course, we didn’t. Thanks to my father’s penchant for traveling, my siblings and I settled in Arizona, New York and Indiana.
That’s when I began to realize I could, if I had to, celebrate Christmas anytime from Thanksgiving to the middle of January – the important thing was not when, but to make whenever we got together a special day with family.
It sounds great on paper and brave in pre-holiday planning sessions. But, it lost its impetus the year I called my parents on Dec. 23. We had simply shifted our anticipation ahead a couple days. So swept away with by the opening of gifts, preparing and eating of our holiday feast and watching the children playing with their gifts, I called my folks.
My dad answered the phone. I was hyped. He was caught off guard, we had broken the easy rhythm of the holidays. I talked fast until Dad manufactured a tiny bit of holiday cheer for me.
The holidays only became more complicated with our move to Arkansas. Suddenly no one lived close by. A family Christmas visit entailed hours or even days of dashing through the snow for a quick hug and brief present exchange. Over the years we have tended to be the ones who visited the clusters of family: they have more houses and beds.
This year, with my dad, brothers, sisters, in-laws and grown married children in eight different states, a complete holiday gathering is impossible. I can’t be north, south, east and west all at once. Time and money further limit us from getting together for even a few hours.
Christmases are easy as they once were, but I still embrace the family at this time of year. I select and ship off presents to some and send others cards with pictures and family news letters.
We will celebrate with some on the 25th, but for the rest – the celebration begins when we get together … and if I have to talk fast until they manufacture a bit of holiday cheer, then so be it. I will have my holidays.