Fairy tales are a major factor in the lives of our nine granddaughters. The youngest pore over fairy tale picture books and watch the cartoon versions. Those in grade school pretend they are princesses who live happily ever after, serving tea to visitors. The oldest view every guy as a potential Prince Charming ready to sweep them off their feet.
Their mothers identify more with what actually happens in “happily ever after.”
Cinderella, who finally escaped the slavery of cooking and cleaning for her cruel stepsisters and stepmother by pulling out the matching glass slipper and riding off with her prince reports: “It’s been two years and I haven’t had a decent pair of shoes since that day. He said if I was careful, my glass slippers would last at least until this economic downturn is over. Meanwhile he expects me to clean the castle all day long and dance all night in those same slippers. After a hard day of cleaning the castle, the only thing I want to do is sit by the cinders and warm my toes. But noooo, he wants me to dance the night away with him. I should have known that a guy who would chose a bride on the basis of a one time encounter at a ball would have no idea of what real life and marriage were all about.”
Sleeping Beauty remembers the day she met her prince: “I was having the most delightful dream when I was awakened to look into the face of a total stranger bending over and kissing me right on the lips. He told me he had ridden his horse for many days, reached my castle and rescued me. He was wearing sweaty, torn clothes. He said he had whacked and cut his way through a forest of roses and briars surrounding the castle to reach me. Maybe so, but I never saw anything to justify that thorny excuse and he hasn’t done a lick of work to clean up the yard around the castle since we married. Maybe I need to plant a few rose bushes to inspire him.”
Snow White: ”I know Prince Charming fell in love with my good looks before he rescued me, but when will he get it through his head that there is no way I can look that good all day long, every day. Especially not with all these funny little men running around the castle. They have no manners. They don’t like to take baths, put on clean clothes or sit at the table and eat properly. All they want to do is dig in the dirt for treasures. I know the Prince loves me but why does he keep bringing me apples? He knows what the last one did to me.”
The princess who felt the pea under 20 mattresses to prove her royalty: “Everything would be perfect if it wasn’t for his mother. Every year on our anniversary she shows up at our castle with a wagon load of mattresses and another pea. She refuses to believe that I passed her test. To this day she says a real princess would not have been out walking the streets in the middle of the night. She needs to get over it. I am sick and tired of climbing up a stack of mattresses and spending the night rolling over that miserable pea just to prove something to a woman who will never be satisfied.”
The princess who kissed a frog and changed him into a prince: “I think he was a frog just a wee, bit too long. He still smells like a swamp and he flicks his tongue out to catch every bite of meat, a potato or apple pie I serve him. His idea of a perfect day is one spent at the swamp with his fishing rod and flies.”
Ahhh, fairy tales … the basis for a happily ever after reality check.