Change is good

Every where I turned that week the message was the same, “Change is good, it provides growth, insight, experience and opportunities to try out new things.”
I knew all that, but I really did not want to be reminded right then – we were considering a major change in our lives: a new job for my husband in a new community. I really hated to move on; I was comfortable where we were, but there I was in a new community with my husband gone for a final job interview.
While he interviewed, I visited the real estate offices, the schools and the shopping centers. Driving around, looking at the housing situation, I switched on the radio and heard some dude chattering about the benefits of new experiences. Back at the hotel I clicked on the TV only to hear the radio talk show host spouting the same axiom. I switched off that banal chatter and picked up a newspaper. The column I scanned embraced the same Pollyanna outlook on life.
I wanted to be negative and miserable. I did not want anyone suggesting that the prospective move could possibly be beneficial. However, even the book I had brought to read on the plane home echoed the thought. I could not escape it.
Back home, I chatted with friends about the visit and our upcoming weekend retreat. Reviewing the week’s visit to schools, realtors and shopping centers, I mentioned the irony of hearing and reading so much about change.
“And here we are preparing to go to this weekend retreat. I know what the guy will talk about. It is inevitable – he will find some way to say “change is good for you.” “I really don’t want to hear it again,” I said.
At the retreat we were barely into the first evening’s message when one of the women I had talked with that day turned, winked at me and grinned. The speaker had just finished outlining the weekend’s messages. Each one would deal with the blessings and lessons he had received through circumstances that had forced him or his family into one change or another.
I grinned back at her, shook my head and shrugged. What could I say?
Obviously until I accepted the axiom, I would continue to encounter the paradox that however disturbing and upsetting new circumstances may be, they do provide opportunities for growth and insight.
I listened, took notes and begrudgingly learned the concept. We did not actually end up moving at the time but neither did we escape experiencing change. The onslaught of the message and events at the time forced me to begin reconsidering how I reacted to life’s little and big upsets and how I dealt with expected times of rejoicing and unexpected times of sorrow.
I love the philosophy that life is a process of letting go of what we have so we may freely embrace what awaits us. I just hate having to live it.
Letting go of what I have is no fun. The past three years I happily spent weeks and months preparing and celebrating each new family member gained through marriage. Afterward, each time I slumped into post-wedding blues.
The party was over and their success in marriage meant it was time for me to grow again as I let go of each child and embraced the insight, experience and opportunities to interact with the new Hershberger. I love the new folks, but I hate stepping back. I keep reminding myself change is good.
Give me a couple years, I might actually believe it.
(Joan Hershberger is a reporter at the News-Times.)