The perfect gift

So many days to celebrate, so many gifts to give – and so little time to shop before Christmas, birthdays and my anniversary converge on me.
Cash is an easy, welcome gift for the adult children. However, for my husband, I have accumulated a list of unique gift ideas to show him how much I love and appreciate all that he does for me.
For those who do not know what he does: my faithful retiree empties the dishwasher, hauls out the trash, sweeps the floor, vacuums, makes up the bed, occasionally brings me a snack or lunch and does a heap of wood working projects. And last month when I was working on a quilt idea, he spent hours puzzling out the sizes of the blocks, the pieces and how to arrange them to suit me.
He loves puzzling over details like that. Loves it so much that last year he found a collection of five wooden puzzles at the drug store and bought them for me to give to him. This year, I am thinking about buying him a personalized puzzle of his old neighborhood with all the streets clearly marked. The advertiser at lastminute.com says, “If you thought map reading was tough, try this.”
Once he knows where everyone is and has all the pieces in place, I think he should drop them a letter with a stamp of his favorite person (me!) stuck on the envelope. Okay, I can’t get my picture on a real postage stamp, but I can get my face printed on a sheet of fun stamps and who says one can’t be stuck on an envelope along with the return address?
Actually, I would probably have to write the letter. He’s not much on reading or writing. But he did listen to enough of an audio version of “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus,” to realize I am the one from Mars and he is from Venus.
To insure he will visit me on Mars occasionally, I think I will purchase him an acre of real estate on the planet. At lastminute.com they are having a special sale this week: with that acre on Mars, I will also receive free an acre of Venus so I can visit him. Such a bargain!
To insure this year’s celebrations are totally out of this world, I am considering also paying to have a star named after him. He would get a framed personalized certificate, his star database reference number and a packet with an educational astronomy starter kit of a sky chart and star plotter to help him find his very own star.
“Please note that this is a fun, inspirational gift. Scientific institutions will continue to refer to stars by their catalogue number or coordinates only,” the ad ends.
Oh, if that’s the way they are going to be, forget it. If they won’t say, “look at the Hershberger star in quadrant 8.” I don’t want it.
Besides, I know he would prefer a bedspread designed as the game of Twister, “complete with matching pillows and two foam filled fabric dice. Everything you need for a good nights twist,” the ad reads. “Now, if you’d like to take your hand off my red spot and put your foot there instead …”
Perfect. Now how much was that again?