Free April jokes

If something is free, I’m all ears – it might be something I want. So of course I signed up when I heard about Freecycle – an e-mail list where people freely give away things that they no longer need to those who do. An offer is made, a recipient chosen, pick-up point established and thanks given. No money is exchanged. To find a Freecycle list near you, just visit http://www.freecycle.org.
At the end of March, Stephanie, a co-moderator for Freecycle Little Rock metro asked for offerings of funny, goofy and totally weird items for one day only: April 1. I read them LOL (laughing out loud) last week. I’m sharing a sampling of them with you this week.
OFFER: Square Eggs
I have a dozen square eggs available. I found them under a cabbage leaf. I think the stork left them last night!
Shelly
OFFER: Free Dust!
I have dust everywhere that I never do anything with. In fact, on one shelf I have so much dust, I put some small cactus plants and some petrified wood on it and it looks like a good desert setting. I do not want it any longer. If I miss it, I will start collecting some more.
Thanks,
Tammy in Sheridan
OFFER: Cleaning up my yard
I have a whole hill of beautiful clean red clay mud behind my house. A bucket full would make a great gift to the beautiful lady in your life who could use it to make a clay mask to beautify her face each week. Several buckets make a great slippery slide in your yard for the children in your life. Come by and get your bucket today and receive another bucket free.
Spirrah
OFFER: Free Air
I have buckets and buckets of the stuff just laying around. Please let me know why you should be the one that deserves this free air. Everyone else that isn’t chosen should immediately stop using my air.
Will Cannon
WANTED:
I am in need of cheaper gas prices or info on how you can make a car run on imagination.
Cindy
OFFER: Cold weather!
I am tired of the cold, if anyone wants it they can have it! I am ready for spring and summer weather!
Traci in Sardis
OFFER: Gold Dust
It seems we have moved in next to an abandoned gold mine … everything around here is covered in Gold Dust. We have more of it than we can ever use. It is on our cars, house, and if we stand still long enough, our clothes. It has amazing medicinal properties! Are you tired of breathing easily? Do you want to make your nose stronger? Then cut down on the amount of air you take in at one time! A small dose of our Gold Dust will close those sinuses right up – and as an added bonus – it will also help increase your tear production.
Kamrin
OFFER: Adorable Dust Bunnies and fire ants
Everyone that replies will also get free instructions on the care and feeding of dust bunnies. I have had these for awhile and have had no trouble breeding them. Please, I need someone to pick up the ones I have because every time I look another new batch has arrived.
Also, if anyone wants fire ants I have a crop starting in the yard.
Mark
OFFER:
I have SBC, Dishnet, gas, elec, water, tuition and medical bills. All need to be paid and are in unopened envelopes. I really hate to let these go, but seeings as I am in-between jobs I can no longer take care of them the way they need to be taken care of. I am willing to give them out individually if the persons getting them promise to take care of them. They are in need of immediate attention that I have not been able to supply.
Cricket in Pine Bluff
OFFER: High quality cloud squeezings
I have a whole lake full of high quality cloud squeezings. If nobody wants these high quality cloud squeezings I’ll just have to give them to the fishes.
Mark
At the end of the day Stephanie thanked everyone for the “FREE laughs,” and reminded subscribers that the fun had ended – until next year. Meanwhile I guess I’ll just have fun checking out the free stuff.