Unfair treatment

No Fair! God. No Fair! That is exactly how I felt that long ago winter as a young mother.
It began with a really bad mistake in my check writing.
We had agreed to send something each month to help some missionary friends of ours. As Christmas time neared, I felt like we should give them a bit more as a Christmas gift until I looked our typical young family’s tight budget and decided we really could not afford it.
Well, God decided differently.
I wrote down in the checkbook ledger the amount I was going to write for their monthly check. I subtracted it and proceeded to write their check – not for the amount I had planned, but for second number I had written – everything we supposedly still had left in the checkbook.
I did not catch my error until the bank statement came and I was flicking through the checks.
Ouch!
I mean really OUCH! We did not have enough money to have a lot of errors and flexibility in our budget. We kept a garden and canned everything. We shopped sales and had decided that taking ourselves and our children to the dentist would just have to wait for a while. We simply could not afford it.
I called my mom and told her my shocking discovery. She mentioned it to my brother who shrugged, “hey, if God wanted her to give that money, He will cover the check.”
With sinking heart I began to tick off checks and balance the check book. I had made a LOT of mistakes that month. At least one was a $100 subtraction error. All totaled they offset the amount for which I had written the Christmas bonus check .
The check was covered. We had given them a Christmas gift.
When we spoke with the missionaries later that year, we mentioned the odd circumstances for their Christmas ‘bonus.” They said, “It came in very handy to pay off some unexpected dental bills.”
What! My check provided funds for their dental bills?
I could not believe that God had provided money for their dental bills and He did not provide any for ours.
I was silently furious with God. It was so unfair. He provided a huge checking mistake to take care of their dental bills and didn’t bother to get around to sending me anything for even check-ups.
That lack of provision gnawed at my soul for months. It gnawed at me when I prayed, when I looked at the budget and wanted more money for taking care of what I considered simple needs such as dental check-ups … when I looked at toothpaste.
Eventually, our situation changed and I scheduled dental check-ups for everyone. One by one, the children went in. One by one each came out smiling, “No cavities.”
Nor did my husband and I have any cavities.
We had not needed to go to the dentist.
And God knew that all along. In spite of my lack of trust in His provision for us, He had taken care of our dental health.
God did not provide the same for each family. He gave our missionary friends funds. He gave us excellent dental health. But in both cases, He took care of our family’s needs.
For months, I had prayed, “give us this day our daily bread,” say “Amen” then walk away to worry and fret and stew over where the bread was going to come from for that day.
Jesus said, “Why do you worry about the rest? Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith!” Luke 12:26-28 (New International Version)
If I had walked in faith, I would have said, “thank you God for using me to meet our friend’s needs. I trust You to use whatever means You choose to meet our needs.”
The great thing about God is that even though I did not remember to “thank God no matter what happens” (I Thess. 5:18), He continued to provide for our need in His way . . . and eventually I found out about it – in His time.
(Joan Hershberger is a reporter at the News-Times. She can be reached at joanh@everybody.org)