About once every three or four months I listen talk radio for about 10 minutes – after that my patience runs out. My 10 minutes last week intercepted the Dr. Laura Schlessinger show and one caller’s question about her picky eater.
Dr. Laura’s response, short as ever, rejected the mother’s concern, “Leave your child alone, they are eating plenty of other stuff.” Dr. Laura went on to assure the caller it was okay because her son had outgrown being a picky eater when he entered the military where he had to eat mess hall meals or go hungry.
As the mother of four biological children and two step-sons whom I raised for many years as my own – plus foster children, exchange students and a dozen grandchildren, I reject her answer as patently ridiculous – one that reflects Dr. Laura’s late entry into parenthood with only one child.
Financial realities prohibited picky eating in our home. At one time we had five children around the table, one income and a tight budget where eating out was rarely an option. I did not have the time, patience or budget to prepare separate meals with foods fixed precisely to each person’s preferences. We had a basic rule: Try a couple bites of everything, every time – whether you like it or not. Exchange students told us they given the same rule during orientation sessions prior to coming to the states.
Visiting grandchildren came in the door reciting a list to my husband and I of what they did not like to eat. By the time they left, they smiled proudly as they announced they ate once rejected foods – liberally drowned in ranch or catalina dressing – and delighted in an assortment of new foods they had tried and liked.
My neighbor’s had two incomes and one child – a picky eater who ate enough food – as long as he didn’t have to chew too much. Aunts, uncles and neighbors watched the boy’s parents scramble to appease him – and silently determined their children would not get away with such behavior. At 10 he developed a blue tinge to his fingers. The doctor gave Little Boy Blue a choice, “Start eating everything – or come in for weekly iron shots.”
From experience, I know the “take a few bites” rule works. In eighth grade I encountered Mexican food. I absolutely despised the stuff, but I took a few bites and within a few years I developed an affinity for several Mexican dishes.
My food flexibility began with my parents who never heard of picky eaters. They expected their five children to be ‘polite eaters.’ The ultimate test came the evening the family went next door to a new neighbor’s house for supper. As we gathered at the beautifully set table we saw – to our silent dismay – that the hostess had pre-set the table with a very large glass of iced tea at each place. Now, I do realize that even babies drink iced tea in the South, but we grew up on a dairy farm and drank cold milk or water at every meal.
Believe me – none of us wanted that iced tea. Yet, none of us said a word to the hostess.
Without a word, a grimace or a sigh, we drank our tea – including the refills she thoughtfully provided.
Because trying a bit of everything educates the tongue to like what it once rejected, I eventually learned to drink iced tea.
I did try to be a considerate hostess and skip offering my adult child his least favorite food during a visit. He stopped me, “How will I learn to like it, if I don’t try it?” I handed him the dish of food. He took a polite taste – again. He didn’t have to join the military to develop cosmopolitan tastebuds or the mannerisms of a polite guest.