A recent e-mail from my sister caught my attention. I thought I would share it with my readers.
I find it disturbing to see the parenting trend to “let them cry it out” going around again. Sometimes babies need to be comforted – and some babies need it more than others. That is just their personality. By giving comfort, even when we don’t understand the need for it, we have given the child a wonderful thing, the gift of compassion.
My oldest son told me a story last week that goes right along with this. He, his wife, and toddler were all driving in the car. His wife was excitedly telling him a story when their daughter started shouting, “Mommy! Mommy!” Mommy stopped talking and turned to the child who said, in the gentlest of baby voices, “It’ll be all right.”
Sometimes people of all ages just want to know that “It’ll be all right” – even babies. The problem with babies, of course, is that they are not able to talk it out with us. But, they can certainly feel the comfort of a hug, the pat on a back or a gentle, calming voice.
Regardless of our age, we all have emotions we don’t understand which leave us crying – if only on the inside. If we just have someone there to give us a hug, physically or emotionally, it helps to ease the situation. When we allow people their tears and the opportunity to talk about the situation, it often helps them to see it from another perspective and to realize that it is, indeed, going “to be all right.”
Unfortunately, the reality of life is that sometimes we can’t talk it out because we don’t know what’s wrong. We can, however, still find comfort in knowing that there is someone near who cares. I remember going into my children’s room when they were early adolescents. One was on his bunk bed crying. I asked him what was wrong. ” I . . . don’t . . . know!” he sobbed. I hugged him, got him up and gave him a drink of water and then simply spent some time talking with him, helping him to focus his emotions in a different direction.
It is so important for people of all ages to know that the “I’m there for you” phrase so popular today isn’t just words, it also involves actions. Through their actions, parents teach that even in the darkest hour they are there for the child, giving comfort and guidance – even if for that child the darkest hour is a broken dollar toy.
The Psalmist reminded us in Psalm 103:13 (NIV) that “as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” Isaiah 66:13a (NIV) continues this thought by saying that “as a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.” The simple action of a father or mother reaching out to a distraught child is the first step toward that little one learning about the magnitude of God’s unfailing love. As parents, we need to reflect God’s love, patience and compassion in all that we do. Then as the child grows and is out on his own, away from the security and guidance of his parents, he will know that the omnipresent God is truly always there, always loving him.
As parents, we should teach through our actions that no matter how dark life can be – times which involve much more than a broken toy – God is there with His loving arms telling us “I’m there for you. It’ll be all right.”