The comment boards raged. Opinions pro and con flew back and forth after Diane Lions of Columbus, Ohio asked that the police be called when her 6-year-old daughter shoplifted a $3 package of stickers. Chief Ronald Yeager of the Carrollton Police Department in eastern Ohio arrived at the Discount Drug Mart and took the girl to the police station in his cruiser before releasing her to Lions, according to the Associated Press story.
The little girl reportedly rode quietly to the police station where her mother later picked up the first-grader, confident the child had learned a lesson about stealing.
The incident found its way into the news and opinionated folks voiced their take on the situation.
The mother should have spanked the child.
The mother over-reacted.
The mother should have controlled her child.
The mother was right for calling the police.
The mother wasted the policeman’s time.
If we had more moms like this we would not have such a high crime rate.
She should have spanked the child.
Good for the mom and the police for helping her enforce that stealing is wrong no matter how young the child or how inexpensive the item.
One mother wrote at length about her many failed requests to have police help her communicate to her son how detrimental his choices were. Finally, his activities grew serious enough to receive a court date. She pled – not for mercy – but some discipline such as probation or community service, so that he would get the message. Years later, after seeing his friend whose parents had taken a softer approach, landed in jail – her son came back and thanked his mom for the discipline.
Other comments recalled stealing some small item, being caught, taken to the manager to apologize and return the item. Each said they never shop lifted again because they remembered the incident.
Obviously, opinions run high. Solutions to the situation vary.
Past actions place me with the “take the child back into the store, make and apology, return the item and/or have the child pay for it.”
Believe me, I would rather talk about my children’s accomplishments any day but the reality is that between those great moments of parental pride come many difficult lessons to encourage the progeny to be a good citizen to make wise choice and recognize consequences for their actions.
Naysayers who called Lions an “idiotic mother” do not help. I’ve been there, I know.
I took a child back to a store to apologize and return a stolen item. As we turned to leave, I shook my head regretfully and said, “It’s something that every child does at least once.”
“Well, mine never did,” the clerk snapped.
I crawled out of that store feeling like one inadequate parent for having a flawed child. I knew I had made a good decision as a parent to insist the child return the item and apologize, but the judgmental put-down left me feeling condemned for recognizing and dealing with a child’s learning process.
The judgmental attitude, however, did not deter me from repeating the scenario the next time it happened.
Better to make the child go to someone in authority, confess, return or pay for the item than to smile, scold and say, “next time let’s make sure we pay for the item. OK, Honey?” and do nothing about it this time.
Actions speak much louder than words. The shame of having to say “I was wrong,” and the frustration of not getting to keep the item all work together to underscore the lesson.
Is there a time to have the lesson underscored with a police officer? After repeated parental intervention fails – definitely.
Is there a time to support parents in their efforts to produce an honest citizen?
So kudos to the Ohio mother – and everyone without children who thinks she made a mistake can just hush.