Money can not buy forever after

      Good-bye to “Bridezilla”, “Yes to the Dress” and “Wedding planners”. Lay aside the pamphlets on destination weddings, forget the pricey wedding invitations and leave Vera Wang at the shop. Engaged couples consider “A Diamond is Forever and Other Fairy Tales: The Relationship between Wedding Expenses and Marriage Duration.” The 2014 paper by Emory University economics professors Andrew Francis and Hugo Malone, reports their study of 3,000 first time marriages, the amount each couple spent on their wedding and the longevity of their marriage.
        Their findings defy years of advertising that the perfect wedding, with no cost spared, lasts happily ever after. “Quite the opposite,” the professors said, “The more spent on a wedding, the less likely the couple were to remain married.”
        The delusion begins with the promise that “a diamond is forever. Those who paid more than $2,000 for an engagement ring were 1.3 times more likely to divorce than those who spent $500 to $2,000.
        Many chant, “It’s my day” as reason enough for making the average wedding cost $30,000. Yet the  Emory University study found that spending more than $20,000 on the wedding increases the odds of divorce by 3.5 times compared with couples whose weddings cost between $5,000 and $10,000.
        Why?
Perhaps because a modest expenditure lays the groundwork for beginning life together with a realistic financial view of the world for the young couple. After all, spending beyond their income drives many couples to divorce. If the couple pays for their own wedding, celebrating within their means ensures they do not enter marriage with a burdensome credit card debt.
        Sometimes the whole affair needs a practical mind. One father told his engaged daughter, “I will pay for an elaborate catered reception and wedding or I will pay for a down payment on your first home.” The couple looked at their future finances, took the house, had a simpler reception and began their marriage with a boost toward a strong financial future.
        Such pragmatism runs contrary to everything the wedding industry promises, “Spend a lot, make it a day to remember for the bride and groom. Don’t skimp. They deserve it. Show her how much you love her, guys. Weigh down her hand with a big diamond.”
        The commitment in the months preceding the expensive wedding too often focuses on making one day “the best” and focuses primarily on the bride while the couple’s relationship moves to the background. It becomes a day to flaunt. For instance, consider the cost of the nationally recognized epitome in a wedding dress: A Vera Wang designer gown. Consumer Report asked 143 men and women to price five gowns with similar designs. Only two priced all of the gowns correctly; 41 percent correctly labeled the $10,000 Vera Wang and 42 percent failed to identify the $500 gown.
        The Emory study found one more twist in the facts and figures of the wedding day. Those with more friends and family at the wedding, tended to stay married. So, cut back on the amount spent to feed and entertain, instead recognize the important role each person played in making the day and the marriage. So say good-bye to the costly, fairy tale event, and hello, to a less financially and emotionally stressed bride and groom and their families.
        It’s time for a reality show about family and friends who join together to lovingly cook, clean and decorate as they welcome another couple into the realms of married life. Each person investing time for the day communicates their prayer for the two to stay married. Which is the whole point of the wedding ceremony: a lifetime of commitment no matter what the cost.