The “I hate to clean house” cleaning tips

Housework never has made my list of “Favorite Things to Do.” I thought about writing a book called “I Hate to Clean House” like Peg Bracken’s “I Hate to Cook” cookbook, but I didn’t have enough easy household tips. My house cleaning tips appall real homemakers.
The sticky, mud tracked floor needs mopping: throw water on the floor before you drain the sink after washing dishes. Grab a couple of old rags, toss them on the floor, rub them around with your foot and voila! the floor is clean enough for another week.
The carpet needs vacuuming after one too many popcorn parties: I clear my throat when the husband walks into the room and point to the floor. Voila! He returns with the vacuum cleaner and runs it over the popcorn. His mom trained him to make neat vacuum cleaner lines in the carpet.
All flat surfaces have a layer of dust: Do not move anything. The dust free area underneath shows how much it needs dusting. If it can’t be disguised any longer, dust only things at eye level.
The early morning sun shining through the window highlights spots and streaks. Look for the window cleaner. If you are lucky, by the time you find it, the sun is over the house, and the streaks and spots are no longer visible.
Clutter blocks the path through the house: Walk through kicking toys and clothes aside. Toss the bigger items in the unused bedroom. Wait until you have company coming before you find a place for all the clutter.
The sink overflows with a week’s worth of dishes: Hubby walks in the kitchen for a snack, I clear my throat and point to the dishes. He insists that the dishes must be arranged a particular way in the dishwasher. Let him do it his way. Voila! Clean dishes!
Dirty clothes spill over the edges of laundry baskets: Sort clothes. Put white stuff into the washing machine. Note to self: Do not put red anything in with white stuff, hubby does not like pink undies. Blue jeans into basket. Clothes that might need to be ironed in another basket. Drop in soap, start machine. Return sometime in the next day or so and toss damp laundry into clothes dryer with a fabric softener sheet. Note to self: pull clothes that might need ironing out of dryer early and hang them to finish drying.
Clothes are dry: Immediately fold the largest items like sheets, towels and blue jeans. Voila! it looks like most of the folding and sorting is done.
The rest of the dry clothes need sorting: Assign each person a basket to hold their clean clothes. When they want clean clothes, tell them to check their basket. If they want them folded, they can do it themselves.
The basket of unmatched socks overflows: Get rid of different socks. Assign everyone a color of sock to simplify life. The year we had two foster boys plus our two big boys, they all wore the same size of sock. I assigned each boy a color: black, blue, brown or turquoise, which made sorting socks easy. My husband used to sort socks until all the kids left. Now we each do our own.
Cobwebs dangle from the corners: Cover a broom with an old pillowcase and sweep them away.
That takes care of my housekeeping and leaves me plenty of time for choosing a book to read from that pile beside the bed. Trust me, none of those relaxing books have a title resembling, “How to Clean House in 12 Easy Steps.”