Don’t call us, we’ll wait for you to write. We don’t do phone solicitations.
Sure we need some house repairs, and we might talk with the siding salesman if he sends us information so we can compare fees. Until then, “Good-bye.”
Sure the IRS has audited us in the past, but the IRS NEVER calls to say a lawsuit is pending. “We will wait for their letter. Good-bye.”
Sure our computer could have a serious problem, “Thank you for calling. We will talk with our local computer tech about it. Good-bye.”
Sure money helps sick kids, troubled children, college students, “Send us information and we will consider your cause. Good-bye.”
It all began when non-profits with similar names contacted us inside a couple weeks and we wondered why they had called again, so soon. Even their donation envelope took a second look to realize it was a different organization.
As a new retiree who is home during the day, I experience all the scam calls targeted at retirees that my husband used to tell me he received each day. I recently received a call he has never taken.
“Hi, Grandma. How are you?”
I began chatting about our recent trip. The caller segued, “Did you hear that my friend and I are going to …”
I forget the details except he began talking about the money needed to drive his friend to some crisis. I interrupted him, “What is your name?”
“John.”
“We don’t have a grandson with that name, good-bye.” I put the phone down without further discussion. There is no sense wasting polite conversation with a friendly con artist who wants my money more than my side of the conversation.
I do try to be polite to the non-profits. Still, a recent call underscored my decision to only take solicitations through the mail.
“We would like your money to support our non-profit,”
“Send some information in the mail and we will consider it.”
“Oh, but it costs so much money to send information through the mail. If we are going to do that, we need you to say you will make a donation. So will you commit to at least $25?”
“No, a few years ago, we decided to no longer make financial commitments over the phone. Send me information and I will consider it.”
“So I will put you down for $25 … “
“You may put that down, but I am not saying I will send it. I said ‘send me the information to consider.’”
“Would you be willing to add just another $5?”
“No, I said ‘send me information’.”
I have yet to receive their letter. I guess it did cost too much to mail.
My ‘grandson’ called again, “Hi, Grandma.”
It sounded so much like our teenage grandson, that I answered, “Hi” and added his name.
The friendly chap started to talk. I remembered that voice. I interrupted him, “What is your name?”
“Michael.” Obviously he had not listened to my greeting.
“We don’t have anyone named Michael,” I hung up the phone and sent a text asking my grandson to call, so I could hear his voice. He called. Our conversation lacked the easy flow of ‘John Michael’ who does not know that even grandchildren hear, “Send us a letter of explanation and we will consider it.”
It took us years to save for retirement. We can afford to take time before we give it away to callers of any ilk. So, don’t call, we only accept snail mail requests.
Note: after this was published in the paper, a man stopped me and said, “We answer those calls and say, ‘what are you calling to scam me about today? And they always hang up.”