Tooth Fairy

After reading the following on Facebook by Gordon Bell, I asked his permission to share it with my readers. He graciously agreed.

My daughter lost a tooth last week. She gets all jacked up about losing teeth because she knows the Tooth Fairy will come and leave her bucks. She grabbed a Zip-Loc baggy and put it inside her pillow case.

Then she begins doubting the tooth transaction.

“Daddy, I am a little confused about this tooth.”

“Whatcha mean, LauraGrace?”

“I have had this tooth for a few years, and now the Tooth Fairy is going to come and leave me $10 or $15 for it. That is not much money for giving up your tooth. I will never see it again, and it has been part of me for a long time.”

I am thinking that she has this Tooth Fairy thing figured out. Fellow students convinced her last year that Santa was not real – that it was her Dad. She boo-hooed for about an hour over that.

I offered “Baby, you never know what the Tooth Fairy is going to bring. But, $10 is a LOT for a tooth. I used to get 25 cents on a good day for a tooth”

She then snuggles into bed. I panicked a bit because I did not know if I had any cash in my wallet.

Sweet Mary, mother of our Lord, I have $11. Two fives and a dollar bill. Saved!

I put the two fives in the baggie, and very carefully lifted her head to place it back. She remained asleep. I hid her tooth in the tooth jar up on a top shelf and behind a bunch of stuff I will never use and don’t really know what all the stuff is.

The next morning I heard her stir, but nothing more. I went to the bedroom and she was all “humped up” on the bed.

When LauraGrace is sad or angry, she “humps up.” Her shoulders jut straight up and her head squats down between the two shoulder humps. It is unmistakable. You cannot see much of her head.

I sit down beside her. “What’s wrong? Bad dream?”

She points toward the end of the bed. I get up and go to the end. On the floor I see a crumpled-up Zip-Loc baggy.

“Laura – there’s money in there!”

She is really sulled up. She looks away with a jerk.

“OK. What is wrong? Tooth Fairy came and saw you.”

After several moments, she replied “It’s only $5. I gave up part of my body for $5, and I will never see it again.”

Before I thought I said, “No, Laura, there is $10 in there.”

“How do you know? You haven’t opened it. I didn’t open it because all I saw was $5. I am not giving up that tooth for $5.”

I threw the bag to her. She pulled out the money and saw it was $10.

“Well, I knew you had $11 in your wallet last night. So I knew I’d get at least $10. I was so upset when I thought it was $5.”

She had researched everything.

“Dad, you just proved all this is fake. You just proved there is no tooth fairy. There is no Santa Claus. It’s always been you. Why did you try to fake me out all these years?”

I was speechless.

“I’m good with the $10 for the tooth. So where are you hiding my teeth?”

With no constructive, positive way out of this, I surrendered her teeth to her and called it a day.

About jottingjoan

retired former newspaper writer. Many children and grandchildren. One husband.
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