Folks recently mused about acquaintances who say, “I have no friends. No one invites me over. No one helps me. I never am included.” And yet quite often the complainer has people reaching out with invitations, offers to help or to simply sit and listen to their misery. What the complainers do not do is look around for the solitary soul quietly sitting alone every day or someone who obviously could use a helping hand or few kind words.
A conversation with a part time college cafeteria host addressed that issue. Each evening approximately 2,500 people wait for one of two hosts to swipe their ID card and deduct the meal from their semester meal plan. During the supper rush there may only be a few seconds to read a student’s name correctly and ask, “How are you doing in class, John?” or “What are you thankful for today?”
A smile, a moment of recognition goes a long way. “People like to hear their name said correctly. That can be a challenge especially since the university has an large international student population with names I find difficult to pronounce,” he said. Still, he knows and practices Solomon’s proverb, “To have friends you must show yourself friendly.”
In such a huge university, It’s easy to become lost in the crowd. To that end social clubs and religious organizations reach out to include students. During the early part of the year these organizations set up information tables outside the cafeteria seeking to connect with interested students.
One evening, the host chatted with a student that he realized might benefit from an interaction with one of the campus ministries sitting outside the door. He waved the director over and introduced the two. They talked and promised to meet after the meal.
Returning to the information table the director said with some astonishment, “We are sitting here hoping the students come over and talk with us. That guy is just talking with the students and bringing them to us.”
Sometimes the duties of being a host include wiping tables and restocking napkins. As the host walks around he chats with isolated individuals. “I don’t spend a lot of time visiting, maybe a minute or two. Maybe 10 minutes If I have a break.” In that way a solitary Chinese student who always eats alone caught his attention. As he filled the napkin holders, the host turned to the isolated student, “What are you thankful for today?” He received a short answer the first time. After a couple other brief conversations, the student answered with a smile and returned his greeting.
During the semester tests he asks students, “How are your tests? Do you need prayer?”
One man shook his head, “Yeah, I do. For Latin. I do not understand it. I’m just not getting it.” After a brief prayer for a rested, peaceful and clear mind to see the patterns in the language, the student ate supper and left for a study session. He returned near the end of the supper shift with a big grin. “Thank you! I understand Latin now. I get it.” A moment made a big difference for him.
During the COVID pandemic, a young woman sat alone as the host stocked napkins. She explained that she had lost her grandparents, had not been able to visit them or go to their funerals. In the subsequent months he made a point to chat a minute or two with her when he saw her. At the end of the year, she came by his desk to give him a thank-you card with a gift card to a coffee shop. His few moments touched her life.
It only takes a bit to brighten a day, to ask a name and remember the person. If someone does not have a smile, give them yours.