That’s the law!

When the going gets tough, city councils start making knee-jerk laws. Elected officials kick without considering the circumstances, let alone the U.S. Constitution – as the Gould City Council did recently when they adopted an ordinance making it illegal to form any kind of group without its permission. Little boys living in Gould who want to form a “No girls allowed” tree house club this summer, better check first with the city council.
That was not the only knee-jerk law the council passed this year. They also overrode Mayor Earnest Nash Jr.’s veto of their vote that required that the Citizens Advisory Council to cease to exist. (The mayor is a member of the council.) The other law made it illegal for the mayor to meet with “any organization in any location” either “inside or outside Gould city limits” without the Council’s permission. The mayor said he would go to jail rather than stop meeting with local groups or withdrawing his support from the advisory council.
Until clearer heads prevail and the Gould ordinance crumbles in the face of state and federal laws, consider a few other knee jerk laws that have made it onto the books.
Fortunately, Mayor Nash does not have to deal with the Oklahoma law that says dogs need a mayor-signed permit to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
In Massachusetts, all men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday – but hunting on Sundays is prohibited. That’s fortunate for gorillas who are not allowed in the back seat of any car in the state. They must have to walk everywhere.
Whales, however, may swim without fear through the wheat and corn fields of Kansas where it is illegal to hunt whales.
The well-dressed, black cat in French Lick Springs, Ind. must to wear bells on Friday the 13th, but bells are not enough in Sterling, Colo., where cats have to be fitted with a taillight.
At least the cats won’t receive a notice of impoundment as dogs do in Denver, Colo. where the dog catcher must notify dogs for three consecutive days via a notice on a tree in the city park.
Most dogs can’t read, but all elephants drink – they just can’t get drunk in Natchez, Mo. For sure tipsy elephants won’t be taking a taxi to the next bar in Japan because elephants may not ride in a taxi in that country. Getting an elephant around town evidently is a universal problem. Those wishing to walk an elephant down Market Street in San Francisco, Calif. must use a leash. In Florida if you take your elephant for a walk downtown and tie it to the parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle. You could just leave your elephant back home on the farm – as long as you don’t use the elephant to plow a cotton field back home in North Carolina. If you live in Alabama and leave the elephant at home, be careful keep it away from the electric oven – it’s against the law to put an elephant in the oven in that state.
Elephants aren’t the only animals which have problems when they go to town. Consider Georgia where it’s illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp – or Detroit  where alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.
Canada it will costs $74 and if it takes a nibble in wildlife areas, the meal will cost $300.
In South Carolina, horses must wear pants to go into Fountain Inn and pigs have to wear a nose ring in Detroit if they want to have the run of the city. And pigs are not welcome into theaters in Florida. Oh and by the way, watch what you name that pig; it is still prohibited to name pigs after Napoleon in France.
What is an animal owner to do?
Llamas can’t graze on city property in Boulder, Colo. If it grazes on National Park grasses in
Then there is the downright anti-social attitude in Cripple Creek, Colo. They prohibit horses or pack mules above the ground floor of any building in that old mining town. In Oklahoma, you can’t even have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub after 7 p.m.
If you must have an animal in town, stick with cows. Anyone can keep their cow on Main Street in downtown Wayland, Mich. It only cost three-cents a day.
Obviously the Gould City Council members aren’t the only ones fussing in vain. Until they sort out their differences, one more word of caution to everyone. This law applies to you. Make sure you speak clearly when saying our state’s name. The correct pronunciation of Arkansas (Ar-ken-saw) was made official by the state legislature in 1881 and, in 2007, the legislature officially declared the possessive form of our state’s name to be Arkansas’s.
Now that’s the law – and don’t you forget it.
(Joan Hershberger is a reporter at the News-Times. E-mail her at jhershberger@eldoradonews.com.)


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One response to “That’s the law!”

  1. Donovan Gerken Avatar
    Donovan Gerken

    By far my favorite!